My son comes to me, "Dishes are done." "Really?Let's take a quick look." My youngest is in high school, he is definitely a "youngest" and tasks like dish washing do not excite him. To be fair, he is generally willing to help but attention to detail is not his strong suit. I can see several glasses have a smeary grease marks on the outside, the counter has been wiped but the dishcloth must have also been greasy, and some of the spoons still have bits stuck to them. I want to be encouraging, I NEED to be encouraging, but I'd rather just give him a dressing down and make him do the dishes again. So, deep breath, "Ri, let's get those dishes re-done, thanks for helping and re-wipe the counters with a new cloth, see how they look? I really appreciate your help." Is this always well received? No. Am I always calm? No. But the rewards of training up my kids with patience and persistence have paid off and continue to pay off. I have one kid that I could just be like, "What is up with these gross dishes, AGAIN!" and it would be fine. I have children that I never have had to offer any correction to their cleaning or dishwashing instead they correct me and give me pointers!? But I also have sensitive kids that correction leaves a mark and it is very much worth it to think before I speak and keep offering correction but gently.
I get tired of telling my kids how to do their jobs, when to do their jobs, and why they need to their jobs but that is MY job as a parent. I used to get tired of answering questions, of playing one more game, reading one more book (just kidding, I never got tired of reading books to the kids, though I was sometimes just really tired and would fall asleep while reading the books). But why did I have kids if I was going to quit on the parenting bit? I felt like quitting, I felt like a horrible parent and person a lot of the time but as they are approaching adulthood and independence one after another, it has worked out pretty well. Mainly because I persisted when I felt like quitting, I kept being mom when I wanted to run and hide. I have previously confessed to being a world class quitter in my youth, but as my dear friend Bea once reminded me that may have been who I was but as a mom I showed up!
I am in a new season of life, two kids in college, two kids in high school, and a baby farm I am trying to raise. There are days I want to just pick a simple job I know I can do well and ignore the big, hard stuff I need to do. When I worked with Community Bible Study, we had a leadership retreat each fall before the study resumed, and I described this temptation as dusting the knick-knacks on the mantle while the house is burning down. I need to deal with the fire even if it feels overwhelming because a beautifully dusted mantle will end up burning with the rest!
My dining room is filled with planning tools that I need to utilize, but I'd rather go prune a tree or move some dirt. Those tasks feel do-able, deciding on a farm marketing plan or whether and how we should incorporate makes me feel lightheaded and overwhelmed, but I need to persist whether I want to or not!